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Questions ?

Dear Dr. Patti :

Recently, I have fallen in love with my boyfriend of five months. Needless to say, we have incredible sex; however, sometimes after a really intense orgasm I will burst out in tears. Why does this happen to me? I never have been sexually abused, and I am very open about my sexuality.


Answer :

Dear N:

What a lovely question. Contrary to what many people may think, the responses women exhibit at the peak of orgasm are varied and can often be misleading. Women report to me that at their climax they explode with many varieties of emotional release. Those expressions can include tears, laughter, sobbing and intense crying.

Because the sexual response cycle is multiphasic, there are levels of energetic buildup during the whole process. The sex researchers Masters and Johnson first noted the four basic phases (excitement through resolution); Helen Singer Kaplan chronicled the desire phase. Later still, the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality determined the initial phase. The sexual response cycle works like this: First a woman feels a slight interest in having a sexual experience of some sort (the "vague stirring" phase); then she may become aroused and feel actual desire for sexual expression. Next she will experience excitement, during which many physiological changes occur, followed by heightened arousal at the plateau phase. Then comes her orgasm, at which point she releases all the pent-up energy and blood engorgement that has accumulated; and, finally, she rounds out with resolution.

All along this continuum are indicators, such as change in color, increased breathing, swelling of genital tissue and hardness and wetness of the male and female sex organs. Throughout this process of arousal through to the "pop" of orgasm, energy is amassing and must be discharged. That energy may take the form of whatever the body is capable of releasing so that it may show up, as for you, as intense crying. This is nature's way of giving you a precious gift. In American culture, tears and crying have received too much bad press, for both men and women. Know that this is a perfectly wonderful means for letting out both feelings and energy. Crying, for you, may be your body's way of telling you it has completed a dance, or an intense journey, through sex.

Be sure that you have thoroughly checked inside to make sure that these tears are of joy, not sadness or something else that may stem from a past wound around relationships, sex or your body image. Then go forth in delight that you can enjoy so much emotional juice. It's terrific that you can feel, express and know that you are truly alive.


By Dr. Patti Britton

The above information thankfully comes from the love.ivillage.com at the following link.

In private sessions with Dr. Dodson, five women improve their ability to achieve orgasm. This documentary illustrates the sex-coaching techniques Betty uses to guide women through sexual arousal to enjoying one or more orgasms.

Betty emphasizes each of the seven elements such as breathing, movement, and sound that heightens sexual pleasure. There are close-up views of the clients using clitoral stimulation, including fingers, battery vibrators, electric vibrators, and dildos. Betty's humor shines through in this joyful and rewarding video.

Observe five uniquely different women, ages 26 to 62, practice and achieve the ecstasy of orgasm during a private session with Betty Dodson. In a space of extraordinary trust, watch Betty guide each woman through her pioneering step by step process designed to overcome common inhibitions. See her encourage a client to speak lovingly about the beauty of her vaginal flower. Watch each woman practice masturbation while Betty sits alongside doing actual hands on coaching as she teaches slow penetration, rhythmic squeezing of the PC muscle, rocking the pelvis, breathing outloud, and making sounds of pleasure while using different forms of clitoral stimulation that include fingers and electric vibrators.

Then hear from the women themselves about the dramatic results of their private session: Increased self-knowledge, heightened self-esteem, and enhanced partnersex. Finally, enjoy how Betty uses earthy humor, straight forward language, and her own personal experience to teach sex.


The above information thankfully comes from the dodsonandross.com at the following link.

I am asking your advice on something because I do not know what else to do. Please keep this confidential. My husband was giving me oral sex the other night, normally I will not just "let myself go", I always stop him when I start to get too excited. I do not know why it is, I guess I just feel myself loosing control and don't know what to do with myself so I make him stop. I think I have only had an orgasm a couple of times. But that's not the biggest problem.

While my husband was giving me oral sex, he held my legs down when I started to pull him off of me, I was glad that he did hold my legs down because I was able to orgasm. The problem is that when I felt like I was about "done" I guess you could say, I felt myself feeling as though I wanted to cry. Then I pushed my husband off of me and told him to "stop", and then I pulled him on me and embraced him into a huge bear hug. He kept asking if I was okay and kept trying to turn towards me to see my face. I wouldn’t let him because I was crying and I just could not hold it back. All I could think about was "What is wrong with me?" Why in the hell would I start crying? I was completely enjoying myself. My husband got very weird on me after that. I kept trying to ask him why he was acting that way. Of course he didn’t know what to think because that had never happened to him before. He finally decided to question whether I have been doing something wrong or not. I couldn't believe it! I did not and would not ever cheat on my husband. But he made me feel as though I had been doing something wrong. I never saw him look at me before the way he did when he thought I was cheating. I told him that I have not been doing anything wrong. So why would I have started crying? I am really scared about my reaction. Have you EVER heard of anyone responding like that. PLEASE give me some type of advice on why you might think I reacted that way. I don't know what to do or think.

Many women cry as a result of having an orgasm. Since you haven’t had that many, you haven’t exhibited this before. As you said, you normally stop yourself from losing control, but this time you didn’t, so not only did you have an orgasm, but you cried as well. It does not mean that you cheated or any thing else. It just means that the orgasm triggered a lot of emotions which resulted in your crying.

What you have to do is show your husband this answer. He has to know that he shouldn’t be suspicious just because you cried after having an orgasm and didn’t want to look at him. You both should know that this happens, and you shouldn’t be ashamed if it happens again, and he shouldn’t be suspicious.


The above information thankfully comes from the drruth.com at the following link.

Researchers from the University of the West of Scotland conducted a study on the correlation between the way women walk and whether or not they are vaginally orgasmic. After coming up with a set of criteria by which to judge, they set about filming 20 women walking. Half of the women were vaginally orgasmic ( the exact definition of what 'vaginally orgasmic' means was not given) and the other half were self identified as not being vaginally orgasmic.

When the researchers asked the therapists, they had previously trained with their set of criteria, to identify the women whom they thought were vaginally orgasmic, they accurately identified 80 percent after watching them walk. The criteria involved how freely the women walked, their open, easy gate and the hip to leg rotation relationship of each woman. Basically, the more open, easy, freewheeling and swinging the woman's walk was, the more orgasmic potential she has, according to this study.

While much more needs to be done in this kind of research, I basically believe it. Taking up dancing, yoga, ecstatic movement and wide, freely swinging walking can free a woman's pelvis. It promotes blood flow, confidence and joint flexibility that makes us more alive. Get yourself a hulahoop and practice the curvaceous moves or stand with your feet slightly apart, hands on hips and move your pelvis in a figure eight shape. Start slowly at first but move into wider shapes once you know you're not going to hurt yourself.

I'll write a longer article on the benefits of movement, on the different nerves that serve our pelvic region and our responses to orgasm soon but for now get moving.

By Suzie Heumann

A woman's sexual desires naturally fluctuate over the years. Highs and lows commonly coincide with the beginning or end of a relationship or with major life changes, such as pregnancy, menopause or illness. However, if you are bothered by a low sex drive or decreased sex drive, there are lifestyle changes and sex techniques that may put you in the mood more often. Some medications offer promise as well.

Even researchers disagree about the best measure of low sex drive in women. After all, perfectly normal women vary greatly in their desire for sex and their views about the optimal amount of sex. Besides, the number of times you have sex each week isn't necessarily a good measure of your libido; women skip sex for many reasons that have nothing to do with desire, including fatigue, stress, poor body image or lack of emotional intimacy.

So, what exactly is low sex drive in women ? In medical terms, you have hypoactive sexual desire disorder if you have a persistent or recurrent lack of interest in sex that causes you personal distress. But you don't have to meet this medical definition to seek help. If you aren't as interested in sex as you'd like to be, talk to your doctor.


The above information thankfully comes from the Mayo Clinic.com at the following link.

Woman on top :

The woman on top position is definitely the choice of women. she gets direct stimulation of the clitoris and can achieve orgasm easily. Women have greater control in this position. Men find that the stimulation is less intense so he can delay ejaculation. His hands are free to stimulate her clitoris or breasts.

The woman on top position is probably the best for clitoris stimulation and direct contact. If greater stimulation is needed there is a cream called Vigorelle, that the woman can gently apply to her vaginal area or clitoris for greater sensitivity, thus a more intense orgasm. Women claim that this produces a tingling and warming sensation which has help them achieve orgasm when it was difficult before.

There is of course another method of greatly increasing the woman's orgasm and sexual pleasure that is becoming popular among men. That is penis enlargement today more and more men are increasing the size of their penis for their partners' satisfaction and their own. There is a NEW method for increasing the size of the male penis safely and naturally that can be implemented at home. It does NOT involve surgery.

Rawhide :

How it's done: She should lie down on the bed on her stomach, with her legs straight and slightly apart. You (the man) then sit right behind her with your legs in front of you and your hands on either side of your body supporting you. You then lean back joining your genitals with hers. Bring her legs together for a tight fit as you rock back and forwards. Her elbows should be with her arms in front of her for leverage.

What will it do for her ? If she likes to be dominated then this is the position for her. You can move your penis about freely allowing her to feel all the pleasure.

What will it do for you (the man) ? You can take full charge with this position and get a front row view of her rear. You can take it at your own pace and move as fast and hard or as slow and gentle as suits.

The pleasure spot

How it's done: She should lie on the bed with a pillow under her head bringing her knees up to her breasts with her legs crossed at the ankles. You (the man) kneel in front of her, lean in and pull her hips onto your lap. Keep her thighs glued together and gently press her feet against your chest for support as you enter her.

What will it do for her? This is a great position to allow her to clench her PC muscles ensuring deep tighter penetration.

What will it do for you (the man)? While she grabs your bottom, she can pull you into her for deeper penetration taking your whole package inside her. This position is intense and will have both your fluids flowing.

Scissor cut :

How it's done: She should lie face-up on a table, desk or other raised, hard surface with her hips perched on the edge. Raise her legs to a 90-degree angle. You (the man) will be standing in front of her holding her ankles. Spread her legs wide open while you enter her. Next you alternately cross and spread her legs like scissors, opening and closing as you thrusts.

The Female Superior Position :

In The Female Superior Position she lies on top of the man with her legs on the outside of his legs. Her body is parallel with his and she is able to move around and manipulate his penis getting into areas he would never be able to do if he were on top. While she is on top, she can kneel, squat, or sit on top of his erect penis. When she sits on his erect penis in this position, his penis penetrates very deeply and can almost always make the woman achieve an orgasm.

In this variation she can sit on you using her hands to push herself up and down as she faces your feet. She also has the option to ease back close to your chest with her legs together. You can experiment with these different variations to find each other's G SPOT.

Lap dancer :

How it's done: You need to be leaning back onto a high-backed chair with a cushion/pillow behind him. Firstly she should sit above your lap with her hands clasping the chair to support her. Then one leg at a time rests her feet on your shoulders. Then she should use her bottom to move back and forth on you penis.

What will it do for her ? This is an intimate position where you can both watch each other's bodies, keeping eye contact all the way through.

What will it do for you (the man) ? Although she controls the movements so the thing she can do to stop you from coming is to jump off. You might not be able to control yourself as you watch her in full action.

The Octopus :

How it's done: You (the man) sit on the floor with your hands behind you resting on the floor, your knees slightly bent with your legs splayed open.

Keeping her hands on the floor for support, she faces you, then straddles your lap, raising her legs so her legs rest on your shoulders. Now she rocks back and fourth gently making sure to keep your bodies close together so your penis doesn't slip out.


By Rebook Srs

Questions ?

My boyfriend and I don't want to have sex until we're married, but we still find many ways to enjoy each other. I'm able to have an orgasm when he touches me with his fingers and when I'm masturbating. But I've noticed that whether I'm masturbating or he's doing it for me, I can only orgasm once, then not again for a long time. After I've climaxed the first time, my clitoris gets really sensitive, and although I want to orgasm again and it feels close, it almost hurts and I just can't seem to do it. I feel really bad because I know my boyfriend wants to please me and feels like he's not doing it well enough. I don't want to fake more orgasms to make him happy, because then I'd feel guilty. Is there something wrong with me? What can I do to have multiple orgasms ?

Answer :

I don't know what your favorite meal is, but let's pretend it's steak and French fries. So you're at a restaurant, you've just finished a nice juicy steak with lots of fries and you're feeling really full. Then the waiter comes over, puts down another plate of steak and fries in front of you and says, "With the compliments of the chef." It's free! You may be able to stuff down another couple of mouthfuls, but unless you're a 300-pound football player, you would probably gag after the third bite. That's analogous to your situation with orgasms. After you already have a satisfying orgasm, you're not going to be ready for another until you "digest" the first one.

You've probably heard that some women are multi orgasmic. It's true, but there's a difference between them and you. Imagine that when the waiter brought your first order of steak and fries, it was on a tiny little plate and you cleaned it all up in a couple of bites. You wouldn't feel fully satisfied from that, would you? When the waiter brought the next little plate, you'd clean that one up too. Eventually, after a few plates, you might feel satiated, but maybe not.


Women who are multi orgasmic don't get satiated by their first orgasm, and so they want more. I'm not going to guess who's better off, those women who are fully satisfied after one orgasm or those who need many. The fact remains that you are who you are. If you're satisfied with one orgasm, that's great as long as you get that one orgasm. You don't require another one, and if you try to force yourself, it won't be very pleasurable. So stop worrying about this, and tell your boyfriend to stop pressuring you into having more than one orgasm.


By Dr. Ruth Westheimer


The above information thankfully comes from the love.ivillage.com at the following link.