Dancing With The Stars It Wasn't

A long time ago I was watching a talk show that shall remain nameless because I can't remember the name of it.

A. The host held an audience dance contest. There were four contestants: three women in their 30s and one woman who was 61. The three younger women were great; the 61 year-old looked like she was having a seizure. Who won?

B. Five years ago my family and I were on a cruise to Hawaii. There was a dance contest in one of the lounges so we went to observe and by observe I mean judge harshly. Three men danced on the stage first, then the three women danced afterwards. There was one hot guy, one average looking guy, and one chubby guy. The hot guy and the average guy were great dancers and the chubby guy couldn’t dance at all. Who won?

C. Then the women danced. There was one hot girl, one average looking girl, and one chubby girl. The hot girl spent all of her time dancing in the audience, having not understood the complicated request to dance on the stage. The average girl was the best dancer and the chubby girl couldn’t dance at all. Who won?

I wanted to put these answers upside down like they do in magazines but I don't know how to do that not to mention that's the most irritating thing about magazine quizzes.

ANSWERS:
A. 61 year-old woman having a seizure
B. Chubby guy who couldn't dance at all
C. Hot girl who didn't understand where to dance

JUDGMENTAL OBSERVATIONS:
A. We feel sorry for old people, but not sorry enough to hire them
B. Chubby men get more sympathy than chubby women
C. Hot girls win no matter how stupid they are