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A woman's sexual desires naturally fluctuate over the years. Highs and lows commonly coincide with the beginning or end of a relationship or with major life changes, such as pregnancy, menopause or illness. However, if you are bothered by a low sex drive or decreased sex drive, there are lifestyle changes and sex techniques that may put you in the mood more often. Some medications offer promise as well.

Even researchers disagree about the best measure of low sex drive in women. After all, perfectly normal women vary greatly in their desire for sex and their views about the optimal amount of sex. Besides, the number of times you have sex each week isn't necessarily a good measure of your libido; women skip sex for many reasons that have nothing to do with desire, including fatigue, stress, poor body image or lack of emotional intimacy.

So, what exactly is low sex drive in women ? In medical terms, you have hypoactive sexual desire disorder if you have a persistent or recurrent lack of interest in sex that causes you personal distress. But you don't have to meet this medical definition to seek help. If you aren't as interested in sex as you'd like to be, talk to your doctor.


The above information thankfully comes from the Mayo Clinic.com at the following link.

Woman on top :

The woman on top position is definitely the choice of women. she gets direct stimulation of the clitoris and can achieve orgasm easily. Women have greater control in this position. Men find that the stimulation is less intense so he can delay ejaculation. His hands are free to stimulate her clitoris or breasts.

The woman on top position is probably the best for clitoris stimulation and direct contact. If greater stimulation is needed there is a cream called Vigorelle, that the woman can gently apply to her vaginal area or clitoris for greater sensitivity, thus a more intense orgasm. Women claim that this produces a tingling and warming sensation which has help them achieve orgasm when it was difficult before.

There is of course another method of greatly increasing the woman's orgasm and sexual pleasure that is becoming popular among men. That is penis enlargement today more and more men are increasing the size of their penis for their partners' satisfaction and their own. There is a NEW method for increasing the size of the male penis safely and naturally that can be implemented at home. It does NOT involve surgery.

Rawhide :

How it's done: She should lie down on the bed on her stomach, with her legs straight and slightly apart. You (the man) then sit right behind her with your legs in front of you and your hands on either side of your body supporting you. You then lean back joining your genitals with hers. Bring her legs together for a tight fit as you rock back and forwards. Her elbows should be with her arms in front of her for leverage.

What will it do for her ? If she likes to be dominated then this is the position for her. You can move your penis about freely allowing her to feel all the pleasure.

What will it do for you (the man) ? You can take full charge with this position and get a front row view of her rear. You can take it at your own pace and move as fast and hard or as slow and gentle as suits.

The pleasure spot

How it's done: She should lie on the bed with a pillow under her head bringing her knees up to her breasts with her legs crossed at the ankles. You (the man) kneel in front of her, lean in and pull her hips onto your lap. Keep her thighs glued together and gently press her feet against your chest for support as you enter her.

What will it do for her? This is a great position to allow her to clench her PC muscles ensuring deep tighter penetration.

What will it do for you (the man)? While she grabs your bottom, she can pull you into her for deeper penetration taking your whole package inside her. This position is intense and will have both your fluids flowing.

Scissor cut :

How it's done: She should lie face-up on a table, desk or other raised, hard surface with her hips perched on the edge. Raise her legs to a 90-degree angle. You (the man) will be standing in front of her holding her ankles. Spread her legs wide open while you enter her. Next you alternately cross and spread her legs like scissors, opening and closing as you thrusts.

The Female Superior Position :

In The Female Superior Position she lies on top of the man with her legs on the outside of his legs. Her body is parallel with his and she is able to move around and manipulate his penis getting into areas he would never be able to do if he were on top. While she is on top, she can kneel, squat, or sit on top of his erect penis. When she sits on his erect penis in this position, his penis penetrates very deeply and can almost always make the woman achieve an orgasm.

In this variation she can sit on you using her hands to push herself up and down as she faces your feet. She also has the option to ease back close to your chest with her legs together. You can experiment with these different variations to find each other's G SPOT.

Lap dancer :

How it's done: You need to be leaning back onto a high-backed chair with a cushion/pillow behind him. Firstly she should sit above your lap with her hands clasping the chair to support her. Then one leg at a time rests her feet on your shoulders. Then she should use her bottom to move back and forth on you penis.

What will it do for her ? This is an intimate position where you can both watch each other's bodies, keeping eye contact all the way through.

What will it do for you (the man) ? Although she controls the movements so the thing she can do to stop you from coming is to jump off. You might not be able to control yourself as you watch her in full action.

The Octopus :

How it's done: You (the man) sit on the floor with your hands behind you resting on the floor, your knees slightly bent with your legs splayed open.

Keeping her hands on the floor for support, she faces you, then straddles your lap, raising her legs so her legs rest on your shoulders. Now she rocks back and fourth gently making sure to keep your bodies close together so your penis doesn't slip out.


By Rebook Srs

Questions ?

My boyfriend and I don't want to have sex until we're married, but we still find many ways to enjoy each other. I'm able to have an orgasm when he touches me with his fingers and when I'm masturbating. But I've noticed that whether I'm masturbating or he's doing it for me, I can only orgasm once, then not again for a long time. After I've climaxed the first time, my clitoris gets really sensitive, and although I want to orgasm again and it feels close, it almost hurts and I just can't seem to do it. I feel really bad because I know my boyfriend wants to please me and feels like he's not doing it well enough. I don't want to fake more orgasms to make him happy, because then I'd feel guilty. Is there something wrong with me? What can I do to have multiple orgasms ?

Answer :

I don't know what your favorite meal is, but let's pretend it's steak and French fries. So you're at a restaurant, you've just finished a nice juicy steak with lots of fries and you're feeling really full. Then the waiter comes over, puts down another plate of steak and fries in front of you and says, "With the compliments of the chef." It's free! You may be able to stuff down another couple of mouthfuls, but unless you're a 300-pound football player, you would probably gag after the third bite. That's analogous to your situation with orgasms. After you already have a satisfying orgasm, you're not going to be ready for another until you "digest" the first one.

You've probably heard that some women are multi orgasmic. It's true, but there's a difference between them and you. Imagine that when the waiter brought your first order of steak and fries, it was on a tiny little plate and you cleaned it all up in a couple of bites. You wouldn't feel fully satisfied from that, would you? When the waiter brought the next little plate, you'd clean that one up too. Eventually, after a few plates, you might feel satiated, but maybe not.


Women who are multi orgasmic don't get satiated by their first orgasm, and so they want more. I'm not going to guess who's better off, those women who are fully satisfied after one orgasm or those who need many. The fact remains that you are who you are. If you're satisfied with one orgasm, that's great as long as you get that one orgasm. You don't require another one, and if you try to force yourself, it won't be very pleasurable. So stop worrying about this, and tell your boyfriend to stop pressuring you into having more than one orgasm.


By Dr. Ruth Westheimer


The above information thankfully comes from the love.ivillage.com at the following link.

If the woman has never masturbated herself to orgasm, then not only will she struggle to reach orgasm, she'll struggle to teach her partner to take her there too.

Back in cave days, Ancient Greece and even the pre-feminist fifties, a woman’s orgasm was a purely incidental part of sex. Those were simple times to a man. But no longer.

Now she knows her rights. She’s read the Kama Sutra and Cosmo’s sealed sex supplement. She’s probably even seen Paris Hilton’s skin flick on the Net. The results: she wants – no, expects the biggest orgasm possible. Or seven, if you can manage it.

And you might as well admit it: you get off on her getting off. Knowing that you’re responsible for that quivering, shivering expulsion of sensation is the second best thing about sex. It’s a ride in a sports car. It’s a hole in one.

So what happens if she just can’t climax? What if you’ve exhausted your box of erotic tricks and she’s still lying there, passionless and poker faced? Well, once in a while it’s totally understandable. Once a week it’s probably forgivable. But if she comes less often than you have your car washed (and we know that is hardly ever), you’ve got problems.

When sex works, it takes up about 20% of a relationship. But when it doesn’t, it takes up about 90%. This is because bad sex seldom stays in the bedroom. If she can’t have an orgasm, he’ll probably start to feel that he’s not a good lover. Meanwhile, she’s thinking something’s wrong with her. At first both will try harder, which only creates more pressure and makes the problem worse. Then their egos become bruised and they start to withdraw from each other.

The result: drought. A dry and destructive avoidance, not only of sex, but of any intimacy that may lead to dreaded carnal carnage.

There is some reassuring news in all of this: the lack of female orgasm is more common than you think. And there are ways to coax it out of hiding. Research shows that about 30% of women globally live with pre-orgasmia, which means they’ve never experienced an orgasm. That means one in three women out there don’t know what they’re missing.

Then another 30% of women are situationally pre-orgasmic, meaning they only have orgasms in certain situations, for example, when masturbating or when they feel safe and happy with their partner. Lastly about 30% of women have orgasms some of the time.

Who knew ? Whether they’re faking it or just lying back and taking it, a disturbing number of women are flatlining after foreplay. And though there may be safety in numbers, this fact still sucks. The big question is: who is to blame?

Poor technique by men is a major inhibiting factor. Especially men who think they know what to do, who believe orgasms happen with pounding penetration only, who don’t listen to their women and who don’t spend enough time arousing her in ways that she uniquely appreciates. Plus, if he puts her under enormous pressure to orgasm, this can inhibit her too. This can’t be his fault entirely. If the woman has never masturbated herself to orgasm, then not only will she struggle to climax, she’ll struggle to teach her partner to take her there too. She may also be unable to let go and surrender to orgasm due to a negative body image, low sexual confidence, or lack of trust in the relationship. Or she could fear pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections. Maybe she’s on medication or anti-depressants, that inhibit orgasm.

Religious upbringing, family attitudes and sexual experiences all play a role. If you grow up with the idea that genitals are dirty and sex is sinful, or purely for your husband’s pleasure, it impacts on your ability to have an orgasm. One of the most powerful preventative beliefs is that good girls don’t do that.

Okay, so coming is more complicated that we thought. But what’s a guy to do when his ego’s smarting and his manhood’s slowly withering in the desert of his bed? Well, he adjusts his attitude.

Don’t blame her and don’t blame yourself. And however tempting it is to prove your sexual dexterity, don’t tell her that you could give your last lover five orgasms in five minutes. The idea is to make her feel better about herself, not you.

Talk

You may have to help her help you. This means talking about the sex you have. Try to ask the right questions at the right time. During intimate moments, encourage her to guide you around her body.

Seek out her Buttons

Every woman has a unique set of buttons that will lead to her undoing. Study her and don’t rely on tried and tested tricks you learnt in another woman’s bed. Watch her carefully while you making love. See how her facial expression changes. Watch the color deepen on her face, body and vulva. Her breathing will become shallower and she may even scream. Allow her to build to this pitch, and let her see you’re noticing her excitement. Talk to her, but first discover what kind of talk she enjoys, or if she needs silence.

Stop Trying so Hard

Pressure is the biggest passion killer, so if she’s struggling to climax a goal oriented mind set will only make things worse. If the aim is to achieve orgasm every time, frustration and insecurity mount. Just let your bodies relax and enjoy the moment and take orgasm out of the equation. Over time, this attitude together with good communication, will encourage her body to respond differently and allow orgasm to happen. Stop going for goals and just play with her. Find out what makes her tick and you can explode her.


By Sandra Prior

A new study found that trained sexologists could infer a woman's history of vaginal orgasm by observing the way she walks. The study is published in the September 2008 issue of The Journal of Sexual Medicine, the official journal of the International Society for Sexual Medicine and the International Society for the Study of Women's Sexual Health.

Led by Stuart Brody of the University of the West of Scotland in collaboration with colleagues in Belgium, the study involved 16 female Belgian university students. Subjects completed a questionnaire on their sexual behaviour and were then videotaped from a distance while walking in a public place. The videotapes were rated by two professors of sexology and two research assistants trained in the functional-sexological approach to sexology, who were not aware of the women's orgasmic history.

The results showed that the appropriately trained sexologists were able to correctly infer vaginal orgasm through watching the way the women walked over 80 percent of the time. Further analysis revealed that the sum of stride length and vertebral rotation was greater for the vaginally orgasmic women. "This could reflect the free, unblocked energetic flow from the legs through the pelvis to the spine," the authors note.

There are several plausible explanations for the results shown by this study. One possibility is that a woman's anatomical features may predispose her to greater or lesser tendency to experience vaginal orgasm. According to Brody, "Blocked pelvic muscles, which might be associated with psychosexual impairments, could both impair vaginal orgasmic response and gait." In addition, vaginally orgasmic women may feel more confident about their sexuality, which might be reflected in their gait. "Such confidence might also be related to the relationship(s) that a woman has had, given the finding that specifically penile-vaginal orgasm is associated with indices of better relationship quality," the authors state. Research has linked vaginal orgasm to better mental health.

The study provides some support for assumptions of a link between muscle blocks and sexual function, according to the authors. They conclude that it may lend credibility to the idea of incorporating training in movement, breathing and muscle patterns into the treatment of sexual dysfunction.

"Women with orgasmic dysfunction should be treated in a multi-disciplinary manner" says Irwin Goldstein, Editor-in-Chief of The Journal of Sexual Medicine." Although small, this study highlights the potential for multiple therapies such as expressive arts therapy incorporating movement and physical therapy focusing on the pelvic floor."

The above information thankfully comes from the scientislive.com at the following link.

There’s more than one kind of orgasm. Here are some mind blowing moves to choose from. Orgasms: what’s not to like ? They feel great, they relieve tension and, ever since your first one, you’ve certainly been perfecting the art. But have you wondered just how varied the range can be ? Just as Eskimos have hundreds of words for ‘snow’, a girl can have many, many types of orgasm and like snowflakes, no two orgasms are the same but there are categories they fall into. Look at the following for inspiration and have fun trying them out.

The Multiple Orgasm

There are actually two strains of this type of climax multiple and multi and which one you have depends on how you react after you’ve come. Like men, after orgasm some women experience a period of time when they’re too sensitive to have sex again; they have to back away from pleasure before starting once more.

If you’re hypersensitive after climaxing, it means you can have multiple orgasms. Give yourself a grace period before starting stimulation again. Get your man to stay inside you after you come, then count 5 or 10 of your vaginal contractions before you begin whatever brings you to orgasm again. Experiment with the amount of recovery time you need, to see if you can catch a wave of pleasure back up to the top.

For many other women, orgasm is more like a roller coaster they get to the top and then have smaller hills and valleys. These women are having multi-orgasms. Sounds like you ? Then don’t back away when you feel post passion pleasure turn an aftershock into another orgasm by keeping the stimulation going, even when you’re sure you are done.

The Elusive Orgasm

It’s the most frustrating experience in the world; an orgasm that taunts you with its pleasurable properties but never quite makes its intentions clear. A lot of it is fear of completely letting go. Orgasm is the most intimate, emotional act. It’s completely involuntary. You can’t will it to happen. But because your release has eluded you, your muscles are more tense and the release of that tension is all the more satisfying.

Sink into the sensation and pay attention to your body, not your performance. Trying the old tantric trick of looking into your partner’s eyes will bring you back into the present. Most of all, don’t put pressure on yourself. Getting into bed with the single goal of bagging an orgasm won’t get you off. Enjoy the journey and the destination may find you after all.

The Soul Orgasm

There’s sex and climax and then there’s the sky splitting experience that takes your orgasm into the spiritual realm. This orgasm really makes you feel like you’re becoming one with your man. Let go of cynicism and open yourself up to the idea that sex is more than just a bodily experience. Make sure there’s lots of eye contact. Be well versed in his ultimate turn-on and his thrill will make your pleasure even deeper.

The Solo G – spot Orgasm

You’ve heard of the G-spot orgasm, where your guy crooks his finger inside your vagina in a come-hither motion, stimulating a wrinkly spot (the periurethral sponge) at the front of the vaginal canal. But if you haven’t managed to have a G-spot orgasm, practicing on your own might make you feel less self-conscious. A regular orgasm involves vaginal muscle contractions and waves feel good sensations. A G-spot orgasm is harder, more intense and passes quicker. It also calls for a firmer assault on the area.

The T – zone Orgasm

Once you’ve found the G-spot, you can head further up your vaginal wall, towards your belly button, and begin searching for the T-zone. The Trigone zone is a nerve rich area that controls the bladder and creates pleasure. You feel it all over. A T-zone orgasm is a powerful wave of energy that takes up a lot more of your body than a regular one. It can last a lot longer too.

How do you approach the T-zone ?

A toy helps because you do have to go deep. A long vibrator with a wide, throbby end, inserted deeply, then tipped towards the belly button, will do the trick. Alternatively, lie on your tummy with your man inside you, entering from behind experiment until he’s pushing against the same spot. Once the pleasure begins, your inner physiognomy may change; your uterus contracts, pulling the T-spot up and away from where it was; some women have to chase it, so be intrepid.


By Sandra Prior

As a woman, I can definitely speak to the fact that many women enjoy a good orgasm, but a better orgasm can create a mind-blowing, body-shaking, toe curling moment. The fact is every woman is acutely aware of every flaw on her body and as her partner, it is your duty to boost her self-confidence or the ideas I’m about to detail will fizzle instead of sizzle.

Oral sex or tongue action is a great way to a better orgasm for women since the clitoris is the nerve center of her vagina. Next to intercourse, oral sex is just as erotic and rewarding and often leads to a better orgasm.

Even better, setting the right atmosphere will do wonders in leaving her weak with anticipation. Seduce her with words before she leaves for work send her off on an orgasmic high. Tell her in graphic details how your tongue will begin a long, slow, wet path up her thighs to her vagina.

Then drop to your knees, slowly kissing the inside of one thigh giving her a sample of what’s to come. If she doesn’t have a mini orgasm then and there don’t worry because you’ve left her with a lasting impression to keep her body humming all day long.

What a delicious way to set the tone for a better orgasm. As she spends her day in breathless anticipation here are a few secrets ideas to continue building the sexual tension.

First, set a warm bubble bath filled with rose-petals and place scented candles appropriately for mood lighting. Next, give her hot-smoldering looks as you run your hands over her body make her feel sexy. And, the last tip to set the stage for a better orgasm is to feed her sweet tasting fruits such as chocolate covered strawberries then suck the juices from her fingers one-by-one.

All of this foreplay will have her body wound tighter than a guitar string. Now you can begin strumming her body leading her towards a better orgasm. The cues that she is extremely turned on are usually erect nipples begging to be sucked, or rapid breathing indicating the orgasmic tension gripping her body.

Don’t deny her any longer she’s waited long enough for a better orgasm. Reach down between her legs and caress her vagina, stay clear of her clitoris since the slightest touch will send her over the edge. Slide her legs over your shoulders and settle your body between her thighs. Fulfill your earlier promise by nibbling the insides of her thighs leaving a wet path as you head towards your goal. Hold onto her hips as your tongue reaches the prize her clitoris. Be prepared for an instantaneous surging of her body as she is consumed by a hot, powerful orgasm.

As the clitoris can be extremely sensitive after a good no, make that a better orgasm stop the stimulation as her orgasm slows. Pull her body against yours’ in a spooning position. As she settles into a delicious orgasmic haze, slowly caress her to create a sense of security and well-being. There you have it, a great technique for giving her an even better orgasm. And, remember anything worth doing right often takes a lot of practice. So put your best effort or should I say tongue action into it!

By E.J. Davis