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Me and my girlfriend have been having sex for over five months now and she's never had an orgasm. I don’t seem to understand what is the problem here. She's had two partners before me and neither have given her an orgasm either. I don't seem to know what’s wrong but what I notice is that she's never in the mood to do it and in addition to that she tells me she feels like something is ripped in her vagina I've told her again and again to go visit a gynecologist but she's just too lazy.

Also she says that if the environment was right maybe it would be possible for her to achieve a female orgasm which I do agree to a certain extent but truthfully I believe something is wrong with her vagina. She loves me to death and says sex doesn't really bother her but to me it does and the fact that I can't give her an orgasm makes me feel like I am a total disgrace.

Teach me how to give a female an orgasm, how to increase the female sex drive. How can she learn to orgasm? Tell me about making a woman orgasm.

Answer :

There is an old Chinese saying :

Man is fire, woman is water. The man's fire brings the woman's water to boiling.

Listen to your girlfriend; she says: "if the circumstances were right maybe it would be possible". Women are not, as men are, immediately stimulated by sight. They need more time. They need the right atmosphere, some romance; sometimes candles and soft music can help.

To get her to desire you and want to have sex, you have to court her, so that she feels like an attractive woman, and not like a service provider. Men can often make up a quarrel by making love, but women need to feel that the relationship is good first, in order to feel desire.

"Why don't you want to make love with me ?" is a question that kills all desire. Say instead: "You are so beautiful, I cannot resist you!"

If she is stressed and thinks of problems, sex will not work. She needs to get in the right mood. Be helpful and give her a lot of care and appreciation.

Making love is a slow process for a woman and may have to start many hours in advance, by fondness and attention from the man she loves.

Women need a much longer foreplay than men. Start by whispering sweet words in her ear and fondling her all over her body, but not in the genital area.

Be sensitive, all the time, to what she likes and what she wants to hear.

Do not fondle the genital area until she is ready (use lubricating gel, which you can buy in a drug store). You need to have patience. She may not get an orgasm until after 20 minutes or more. And sometimes it will not work, even if you do everything right. You need to love her anyway.

Most women will not achieve orgasm through an ordinary genital sexual intercourse. And men often are tired after their orgasm. Because of this, it may be best to ensure that the woman has an orgasm before the man. She will still be excited afterwards, and will enjoy his orgasm.

Women can enjoy sex even if they do not get an orgasm. They enjoy the nearness and intimacy, the fondling and the feeling of love and desire. A request from the man that she must have an orgasm can be a problem for the woman. In spite of this, you should try to learn to satisfy her. I know of women who have left their boyfriends when they have met a man who knows the right way.

Your girlfriend probably does not want to go to a gynecologist, because she feels that this is not the problem. One treatment for a dry vagina is lubricating gel. Do not tell her that she is lazy; instead try to understand her wishes and needs. Respect her, if she does not want to go to a gynecologist. To criticize her will kill all desire and she may resent this for a long time.

If you want something from her, ask her in a nice way, without criticism. Listen to what she says and try to understand her feelings and needs.

A woman who has never had an orgasm may be able to learn this by practice. Her chances of succeeding are higher if she has a partner who is responsive to her needs. Good luck!

By Gunborg Palme

My girlfriend usually does not get an orgasm when we have sex. What am I doing wrong ? How should I do to give a woman an orgasm ? Tell me more about female orgasm.

Answer :

Female orgasm not the same as male orgasm

For most men, sex ends with an orgasm. This is very important for most men. And after the orgasm, most men are satisfied and not willing to participate in active sex any more for some time. All this is different for women.

• All women do not always have an orgasm. Some women have an orgasm most of the time, some only sometimes, some never. In one typical report :

15 % of the women had orgasm every time they had sexual intercorse,
48 % most of the time,
19 % sometimes,
11 % occasionaly,
7 % never.

• For many women, sex can be satisfying even without an orgasm. They value the closeness, intimacy, cuddling, more than the orgasm. In a report asking women why they enjoyed sex, their most common answer was emotional intimacy, and the most pleasurable event during sex for women was penetration, not orgasm.
• A woman can continue to enjoy active sex after an orgasm. Some women can have more than one orgasm in succession.

These differences mean that men often have the wrong expectations from a woman. Sometimes, it is the man, not the woman, who wants her to have an orgasm. Men also have incorrect expectations because of porn movies. In porn movies, the women cry and moan, so men believe that a woman is more satisfied if she cries and moans. In reality, a woman gets more silent and withdrawn when getting closer to, or having, an orgasm. It is not uncommon that women fake orgasm, cry and moan because that is what the man expects them to do. Of course, sex will be more satisfying if men understand women better.

The complexity of sexual relations is shown by the fact that orgasm is not only enjoyed by the person having orgasm. The orgasm of the man is important to the woman, and reversely the orgasm of the woman is felt as important for many men, maybe too important.

Below is some discussion about how to help a woman get an orgasm. Important to note is that obtaining an orgasm may not be what is most important for her. Maybe other things are more important. Do not feel forced to obtain orgasm for the woman, unless this is her own wish.

Below are some items on how to help a woman get an orgasm. Always note, however, that getting a woman to enjoy sex is not the same thing as getting her to have an orgasm, since women can enjoy other things with sex more than the orgasm. Thus, if a man wants his woman to be happy, it may be more important to provide closeness and love rather than orgasm. Most women are not satisfied if the man enters them too early, but that is not because of lack of orgasm but because of lack of love and intimacy.

Psychological setting for making love

Firstly, and this is very important, most women need the right psychological setting to get an orgasm. This article describes this in more detail.

Does she know how to get an orgasm at all ?

The first question you always ask is whether she is able to get an orgasm at all, for example by masturbation. If the answer to this question is no, she must first learn how to get an orgasm. If the answer is yes, you can investigate how to get an orgasm when making love.

Timing of male and female orgasm

Women enjoy sex also after an orgasm, while most men do not want to continue making love after their orgasm. Because of this, it is better if the woman gets her orgasm before the man.

Clitoris and g-point

Women get an orgasm by proper stimulation of the clitoris, a small lap of skin just over the vagina. The clitoris can be stimulated by hand, using lubricating gel, by the woman herself or her partner. It can also be stimulated by mouth. If the clitoris is stimulated by her partner, this is usually done before the vaginal intercourse. Note that during normal vaginal sexual intercourse, the nerve endings in the man's penis are stimulated, but not the nerve endings in the woman’s clitoris. Only 30 % of all women get an orgasm through vaginal sexual intercourse according to Shere Hite! More.

There is also a place inside the vagina, which can be stimulated to give an orgasm. This point is named the g-point. It is, however, difficult to find this point and stimulate it in the right way. Women who succeed in getting orgasm this way usually use the intercourse position with the woman on top of the man. The reason for this is that this position gives the woman the largest options to control the movements so as to stimulate the g-point.

Some women have a problem in that stimulating the g-point causes a strong need to urinate.

Sometimes, couples start with foreplay and manual or oral stimulation, then switch to intercourse with the woman on top until the woman gets her orgasm, then switch to the man on top until the man gets an orgasm. But this is something each couple will have to try out what they prefer.

Techniques of stimulating clitoris to orgasm

After foreplay by kissing and fondling (may have to continue for up to 20 minutes) the partner or the person herself stimulates the clitoris (the are below the labia or genital lips, and above the vagina opening) by rapidly flicking a finger or the tongue back and forward or up and down. Do not press hard. If you are using a finger, be sure to use lots of lubricating gel (can be bought at a drug store). If you are using the tongue, lubricating gel is usually not necessary, since lubrication comes from the mouth. Ask her to concentracte on sexy thoughts at the same time.

Who is responsible for the female orgasm, him or her?

The first step in learning to get an orgasm is that the woman learns to get an orgasm by masturbation. She can then teach her male partner how to do, and knows when it feels right and wrong. Listen to her, ask her what feels good and not good, try out the best technique together with her. So certainly she is responsible for telling her partner how to make her satisfied.

It is quite common that women masturbate themselves during intercourse, in order to get an orgasm.

Some feminists reject the idea that men "give" women an orgasm. They claim that equality requires that each is responsible for their own orgasm. Other people see love making as a mutual activity of giving and taking.

Fantasies

Some women need to concentrate on erotic fantasies to get an orgasm. The fantasies which work for some women can be weird and contain actions they would never do in real life. Thinking "maybe I cannot get an orgasm" may destroy the ability to get an orgasm. Is orgasm necessary for a woman.

And remember, always first clarify what the woman wants. Many women enjoy sex even without an orgasm, and do not think that orgasm is necessary to be satisfied. Other women, however, are not satisfied unless they get an orgasm.

Sex should be an occasion of mutual joy and pleasure, not an occasion of incorrect expectations, forced striving for an orgasm at all cost. Sex is usually more satisfactory for both if they do not think so much about attaining orgasm, but instead think of love and mutual pleasure.

The above information thankfully comes from the web4health.info at the following link.


By Jacob Palme

What is an orgasm disorder in woman ?

Answer :

When a woman never has an orgasm while making love and is distressed by this, she may have an orgasm disorder. When there is sufficient desire for sex and the body is stimulated in the right way, then an orgasm is a reaction of the body. For most women the orgasm is caused by a direct or indirect stimulation of the clitoris. In general, vaginal stimulation is not enough to get an orgasm. One third of all women rarely or never have an orgasm while making love. Only one woman in ten always have an orgasm when making love. Some women are also less interested in getting an orgasm.

By Wendy Moelker

Enough stimulation of or around a woman's clitoris causes pelvic fullness and body tension to build up. ( Some women also respond to stimulation of their G-spot). Orgasm is the point at which all the tension is suddenly released in a series of involuntary and pleasurable muscular contractions. Women feel the contractions in their vagina, uterus and/or rectum, although some women describe orgasms without any contractions at all.

Women have compared their orgasms to a mild hiccup, a sneeze, or a sigh. They've also been described in terms of ocean waves, and with adjectives such as sensuous, intense, and ecstatic. Of course, each orgasm depends on the particular woman at the particular time. The same woman can experience many different types of climax. For instance, orgasm can feel different with a finger, penis, dildo or vibrator in the vagina, and different when a woman masturbates than when she's having partner sex.

There are many variations of a woman's orgasm, and a wide range of accompanying feelings. What works, what feels good, and what is satisfying for a woman at any given moment is what counts.


The above information thankfully comes from the indiadiets.com at the following link.

Several factors may contribute to sexual dissatisfaction or dysfunction. These factors tend to be interrelated.

In addition, the vaginal lining becomes thinner and less elastic, particularly if you're not sexually active. At the same time, the vagina requires more stimulation to relax and lubricate before intercourse. These factors can lead to painful intercourse (dyspareunia), and achieving orgasm may take longer.

Your body's hormone levels also shift after giving birth and during breast-feeding, which can lead to vaginal dryness and can affect your desire to have sex.

Emotional distress can be both a cause and a result of sexual dysfunction. Regardless of where the cycle began, you usually need to address relationship issues for treatment to be effective.

The above information thankfully comes from the Mayo Clinic.com at the following link.

You can develop female sexual dysfunction at any age, but sexual problems are most common when your hormones are in flux for example, when you've just had a baby or when you're making the transition into menopause. Sexual concerns may also occur with major illness, such as cancer.

Your problems might be classified as female sexual dysfunction if you experience one or more of the following and you're distressed about it:

The above information thankfully comes from the Mayo Clinic.com at the following link.

Has your sex life lost some of its spark because your body feels unresponsive or you're just not interested? You might take comfort in knowing that as many as four in 10 women have the same problem at some point in their lives.

If you have persistent or recurrent problems with sexual response and if these problems are making you distressed or straining your relationship with your partner what you're experiencing is known medically as female sexual dysfunction.

Female sexual dysfunction has many possible symptoms and causes. Fortunately, they're almost all treatable. Communicating your concerns and understanding your anatomy and your body's normal response to sexual activity are important steps toward gaining sexual satisfaction.

The above information thankfully comes from the Mayo Clinic.com at the following link.